Remember the classic 1980s movie Back to the Future? There is a great scene in the middle of the movie where George McFly finally works up the nerve to tell Lorraine how he feels about her.
He goes to the local diner, approaches her table, and stammers for a bit. Then he utters the classic line, “I’m George. George McFly. I’m your density . . . I mean, your destiny.”
Just then, the town bully, Biff, storms into the diner looking for George. Fortunately, Marty saves the day and keeps Biff from beating up George.
But unfortunately, Lorraine is now even more in love with Marty. Just when George’s “destiny” seemed within reach, life threw a monkey wrench into his plans.
Have you ever felt like George McFly, as if the universe is conspiring against you? Like your destiny is just out of reach? If so, I can relate.
I grew up in a family that didn’t believe we were destined for success. We were poor, and in our family, a woman’s destiny was to get married and have babies. If she was lucky, she might have a job at some point. College was out of the question.
My mom had four kids by the time she was twenty. In addition to my twin sister and me (we were born in 1980), I had an older brother and sister.
For the first few years, life was normal. But it was not to last.
My mother was a stay-at-home mom. In 1985, she decided she wanted to have an identity outside the home, so she started teaching aerobics. That was the beginning of the end of our little family as I knew it. She was spending a lot of money on clothes, which was a problem since my dad didn’t make much money. (In fact, we only had one family car.)
Dad worked a lot, so we didn’t spend a lot of time with him. I was a momma’s girl. However, this bond was strained as she became more distant. One time, I hid in the back seat of the car when she was headed to aerobics so I could spend time with her. I got into trouble, as you can imagine.
Another time, my twin sister and I got into Mom’s makeup. She was very upset and locked us out of the house in the middle of a thunderstorm. She refused to let us back in, even though we were just five years old.
Things went downhill, and Dad tried to save their marriage through counseling, but she wouldn’t go.
Mom filed for divorce in 1987, at the same time my dad was going through kidney failure and lost his job. He didn’t want to deal with us kids, so he gave custody to her, but she didn’t want it. Neither parent wanted the hassle of dealing with four children.
In the end, we stayed with our dad. Later that year, his kidneys failed, and he started dialysis. He had to apply for public aid and food stamps and got on the transplant list. He was a bitter and broken man who blamed us kids for Mom leaving.
From my vantage point as a kid, all I could see were the same patterns and dysfunctions repeating themselves. My dad would say, “You are where you’re from.”
In his mind, our destiny was set. He believed we didn’t have any choice in the matter.
It never occurred to me as a kid that we could change our destiny—that we could have something more. I didn’t think I deserved to be successful. I never imagined I could have different or better opportunities.
Maybe this is how you grew up as well. Maybe you have this mindset right now. Maybe you feel like George McFly through most of Back to the Future—your destiny awaits, then awaits some more, like it’s always just out of reach.
No matter what your background is, or how you grew up, or what your situation is right now, I’m here to tell you that success is possible. I believe your destiny is to be successful, and I want you to believe it, too.
But you have to do more than believe that success is possible. You have to embrace this truth with every part of your being. You have to stop limiting your beliefs about what is possible.
How do you do this? You do it by figuring out what success means for you, and then believing that you deserve it.
No matter who you are, no matter what you’ve been through … you deserve success! The first start toward achieving success, no matter what your goal, is believing you deserve it.
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