Anxiety has a way of making everything feel urgent.
Your mind starts racing. You replay conversations that already happened, create scenarios that haven’t happened, and try to solve problems that may never even exist.
And sometimes the hardest part is knowing that you’re doing it…but still not knowing how to shut it off.
I’ve learned that I can’t always control when anxiety shows up, but I can control what I do once I recognize I’m in it.
Here are some things that help me get out of that anxious spiral:
1. Separate what’s actually happening from what you’re afraid might happen.
I ask myself: What do I know to be true right now?
Not what I think someone is thinking.
Not what could happen tomorrow.
Not the worst-case scenario my brain created.
What is actually happening right now?
Anxiety loves uncertainty, and our brains love filling in the blanks. Coming back to the facts can stop a lot of unnecessary spiraling.
2. Stop trying to solve everything while you’re anxious.
I’ve learned that anxiety is probably the worst time to make a big decision, send the emotional text, confront someone, or decide that my entire life needs to change.
Sometimes the best decision is:
I don’t need to figure this out right now.
Give yourself time to calm down before deciding what something means or what you need to do about it.
3. Get out of your head and into your body.
Change your environment.
Go outside.
Take a shower.
Clean something.
Drive with music on.
Take a walk.
Stretch.
Put your phone down.
It sounds simple, but sitting in the exact same spot thinking the exact same thoughts usually doesn’t make them disappear.
4. Be careful who you talk to when you’re anxious.
Sometimes talking helps. Sometimes talking to five different people and getting five different opinions makes everything 10x worse.
Find someone who can listen without feeding the anxiety.
You don’t always need someone to validate your worst-case scenario. Sometimes you need someone who can remind you, “You don’t actually know that yet.”
5. Stop checking.
Stop rereading the message.
Stop checking whether they’re online.
Stop Googling the same thing for the 17th time.
Stop looking for one more piece of information that will finally make you feel certain.
Sometimes the thing we’re doing to make ourselves feel better is actually keeping the anxiety alive.
6. Ask yourself whether this will matter later.
When something feels HUGE, I try to zoom out.
Will this matter next week?
Next month?
Next year?
Sometimes the answer is yes—and then I know it deserves my attention.
But a lot of times I realize I’m giving a temporary situation permanent-level energy.
7. Remember that a thought isn’t automatically the truth.
Just because your brain says:
Something bad is going to happen.
They’re mad at me.
I messed everything up.
I’m going to fail.
…doesn’t mean any of those things are facts.
Thoughts can feel incredibly convincing without being accurate.
8. Give yourself something to look forward to.
Anxiety can make your world feel really small because your attention becomes completely focused on whatever is bothering you.
So intentionally put something else on the calendar.
Dinner with someone you love.
A movie night.
A weekend plan.
A new book.
A project.
Something small tomorrow morning that you enjoy.
Remind yourself that your life is bigger than the thing you’re anxious about.
9. If faith is part of your life, pray before you spiral.
One of the biggest things I have to remind myself is that I don’t have to understand or control everything.
Sometimes my prayer is literally:
“God, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know I can’t keep carrying something that hasn’t even happened yet.”
There is a lot of peace in realizing that not everything is ours to control.
10. Come back to today.
Not next week.
Not six months from now.
Not every possible outcome.
Today.
What can you control today?
What needs your attention today?
What is good in your life today?
Anxiety wants you to live ten steps ahead. Peace usually requires coming back to the step you’re actually standing on.
I still have moments where my mind runs away with me. I don’t think the goal is to become a person who never feels anxious.
The goal is to recognize it sooner.
To stop believing every thought.
To stop trying to control every outcome.
And to remind yourself:
I don’t have to solve tomorrow from where I’m standing today.
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